OIL 2009 TESTIMONIES

After my first semester in college, I realized that I never really asked God why He had placed me there. I also realized that I haven't really reached out to the students there because I was so focused on adjusting and performing well in my studies...no wonder I felt an empty place in my heart and a dread of going back! Coming to OIL, God really reminded me that the ALMIGHTY is right by my side and throughout the conference, He really tugged at my heart to go back to campus and really make His name known this spring semester. He really woke me up to give my best to Him, in ALL areas of my life. Going to early morning prayer at my Korean church became such a joyful time for me, someone who struggled to get up early all winter break. I suddenly felt a great urge to speak to my closest friends about His goodness and really pray for world missions. He changed my view of life completely, and I now read the Bible and pray with an excitement I never felt before. I shared my testimony with my high school friends as soon as I returned from Oil, and God really opened my eyes to see how much He was moving, even right at home. God really placed in my heart a love for my school, and I firmly believe that through prayer, He will move mountains this semester. He placed me at my college for a reason, and I can't wait to be used by Him. God is so good! :)

(College of William and Mary)

I'm pretty poor in writing (I'm an international student), so I'll skip my real "testimony". However, I can surely tell people that OIL is the right place if somebody wants to get closer with God. Thanks for providing this retreat. Be God With You! :)

(UPenn)

I needed to deal with things in my life. I came looking for fresh focus, direction, purpose, and vision. I was hungrier for fellowship than I knew. God provided me all this through OIL and more. We learned so much and received so much encouragement and spiritual healing through God's word and the words of His people there. OIL helped me not give up on my church, and I dedicated myself to be ready to do His will, 24-7-365.

(Northern Virginia/Michigan)

This was my first retreat, being a fairly new Christian I was a little apprehensive about coming to a retreat such as OIL, hearing what a blessing and spiritually intense experience it is. After much prayer and consideration I decided to go anyway. With God's help I believe I had a truly blessed experience. I truly see the extent of my sinful nature and how the message of this year's OIL resonates in my life. I really see how much I need Christ in my life and how lucky I am to know that I am loved by Him. He is worthy of all my praise and worship and I hope that throughout this year as a result of OIL I can grow in the Christian faith and create a stronger relationship with God.

(SUNY Albany)

I can't express enough thanks and gratitude to the Lord for bringing me to OIL again this year. ... Even though I was involved in campus ministry over the semester, I was drying up in my personal walk. Then as I neared finals (senior year, final semester) and began grad school applications, I started simply including God in my plans, rather than including myself in God's plans.

I can't explain it, but I am filled with a hunger for the Lord and his word that I haven't had for so long. I am so encouraged and so overwhelmed with thankfulness; I keep crying at odd times, just when I think about what Jesus has done for me, and IS doing for me. Even with some of the ... failures that have already come since leaving OIL, I haven't lost my joy and my confidence in God's lovingkindness directed TOWARD ME!

I came home with a desire, and even an increased ability, to serve my family and at my job with cheerfulness. ... I'm less worried because I have been reminded about the inevitability of failure, and the equal inevitability of grace. ...

... I've experienced a change in my attitude toward my local church, the little annoyances that arise in one's family, and the frustrations of feeling that one's life is not amounting to much. I am starting to desire that Jesus Christ, rather than myself, be the center of my world. I sincerely hope that the changes I am feeling on the inside are being manifested on the outside... (Plattsburgh NY)

I think what God has taught me through the speakers, praise, and sermons at OIL has been that God is not someone who we can reach at our convenience, then live our lives the way we want without God. Christianity isn't just having an extra piece of knowledge or power that helps us more than non-Christians, but it's about our lives being changed for someone so great that the love He gives us changes us. The focus then changes from us to God.

I've learned that being a Christian isn't about half-hearted service at our convenient time, but it's about giving up absolutely everything we have because God is worthy of everything. (University of Illinois)

OIL definitely exceeded all of my expectations this year. It was such a blessing, no joke! I honestly didn't want to go to the retreat at the beginning, but I think my heart was ready. I heard God talking to me through every speaker, every seminar, every small group member - His timing and choices are sovereign, amen? I am so glad I worship a God who is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. He really opened my blind eyes and unlocked my deaf ears to issues I am currently struggling with; and His guidance is always accompanied by His power and promises. I am thankful OIL allowed me to start 2009 abiding in Christ and being daily empowered by Him. The Lord willing, I will abide in Him everyday this year by His grace.

I left OIL with so many convictions. To share a few (so I won't forget!):

1. I want to be more involved in my church, specifically in the Impact (YA) congregation. I want to be able to take ownership and contribute to its growth by participating in discipleship. I want to pray for my pastor and the spiritual growth of the congregation, not only that we can draw more people in, but that our relationships with each other and with our Maker will go DEEP. I pray that hearts will be changed and those who were once complacent and apathetic in their Christian lives will be challenged and moved to love Christ even more because of His love for us first. We must live and serve as a response to Him all of our life.
2. I am convicted by the right of Christ's lordship and authority in my life. In Christ alone is my purpose and identify, and I pray that I will submit to His calling of making disciples of all nations by spending time with Him everyday. How else will a relationship grow, right? I want to develop an atmosphere and dependency on prayer in 2009; and while I pray, I want to be looking for opportunities for me to serve Him. I want to do my devotions with my Bible in one hand, and Operation World in the other. I will continue applying to medical school with peace in my heart because I think God is opening doors for me, and I want to equip myself with skills that I will need for whatever may happen in the future. I want to be in a profession that people might need, whether it's as an internal medicine doctor or as a psychiatrist. I want to be a doctor with a servant's heart, asking Christ to reign in me daily. I will sign God's empty contract and not hand Him one of my own, a page full of plans for my own life. My life belongs to Him, and I want to live like I mean it. I am thankful for the privilege of being involved in His Kingdom work, because He's going to work with or without me, amen? I'd rather Him do it using me, than without me.
3. Campus fellowship is so important in discipleship, and I was encouraged by all my small group members at OIL who were so involved in their own small groups at school. I ask God to send more and more Christ-loving people to our school, and that He will draw all the campus Christian groups together to unite as His body and in His name. I pray that He will bring the Chinese people to our new fellowship, people who are ready and know they need Him. I pray that God will be in the center of our fellowship planning and prayer, and that our activities will be supplemented by the truth we live out in our lives. Father, it's all for you, isn't it? (University of Maryland Baltimore)

There were many things that blessed me at OIL retreat, but one of the things that really blessed me was God opening my eyes to see the state of the world. Coming into OIL, I was so concerned with my own walk with God and my troubles concerning what the future holds for me after college in May. However, after the missions challenge given by Dr. Murray, those troubles concerning my life shifted to how many people in this world are living without knowing that Jesus came to save them. I have prayed often for the salvation of my peers and family members, but never did I realize that so many people are dying without even hearing the name of Christ and it broke my heart. How is it that I am in America and have heard the name of Jesus when so many people in the world do not know of Jesus? It really humbled me and convicted me to pray for the world. It is really only In Christ alone, we are saved by grace and we have hope. Because of who God is, I am given the ultimate purpose in life, which is to live out the gospel in costly worship and to love others like Christ; to love the lost and bring them home. Jesus didn't come to save just me. He came to save the world. And my hope is that I continue to have this perspective as I live for God.

(Champaign, IL)

Before coming to OIL this year, I felt like I was falling away from God. I was feeling somewhat angry and bitter about life in general and wasn't sure if I even wanted to go to OIL. But then I remembered that 2 years ago Pastor Joe Lee said that if we don't go to large group, OIL, etc we will miss out on chances of being blessed so I went. Once there I was glad that I had made the choice to come. It was by the grace of God that I was able to come this year and I feel that this was His way of drawing me near Him again. I learned so much at OIL and God opened my eyes which has been so cluttered with the things of the world that I may see His glory and remember that my significance and purpose is in Christ alone. Like Dr.Murray said, we're called to be the salt and light of the world and I want to live so that God's glory will shine through me. Also, being able to worship God with hundreds of people whose hearts are one in our desire to love and seek Him is a blessing beyond words. I'm immensely thankful for OIL and all the pastors and staff who make it happen every year! You guys are awesome!

(James Madison University)

God really challenged me, especially with the last part of Dr. Murray's last message where he did the blank card and asked us to sign our name. I wasn't quite ready to do so, but it made me realize that I was very afraid to let go. However, that was probably the most defining moment of this OIL because it showed me how far I still had to go.

(Madison, WI)

I feel like one main points that God was trying to emphasize was the importance of prayer. Most of the people that I talked to were also convicted with the need to feel more of an urgency to pray more - especially for others and missions.

Another thing that was mind-blowing was the last sermon given by Dr. Murray. I spent the last six months begging God to help me to surrender everything to Him. Throughout the entire OIL I kept feeling like there was a wall between God and me. I kept asking God to reveal to me what it was so I could repent of it but I couldn't figure out what it was. I felt discouraged because I felt as if I had learned a lot at OIL but was about to walk away without being able to break the barrier down between God and me. However, the last sermon made everything so clear - I had been trying to surrender to God in the incorrect way. I thought God would be pleased with me because I tried so hard to include Him in all of my plans - failing to realize that it's not about me making Him part of my plans but me letting myself being a part of His plans. It helped me to realize how desperately I needed God to help me to learn how to die to myself.

(University of Illinois)

God blessed me during the evening prayer time on Friday. This was a particularly difficult year for me as a working professional in New York City. I was exposed to a lot of negativity, deception and hurtful co-worker relationships. My own faith and character were tested during these hard times. It came to a point where I wondered if I was even called to this specific workplace. However, this year at OIL, God gave me a profound revelation. Through wrestling with sin, being challenged in my character at work, rubbing shoulders with difficult co-workers and seeing the depth of my wickedness, God was leading me closer to the cross and to His gospel love. He was challenging me to see Him in the midst of the chaos. He challenged me to forgive. I found assurance in God's sovereignty over my situation at work and saw that it was all His orchestration. As I returned to work this past week, feelings of defeat and hostility that once hovered over me were not as strong. I saw beginnings of transformation in a challenging rel. with a coworker. Situations that were once daunting now faded in light of His greatness. I'm humbled by who He is and am excited to see what He is going to do.

"In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone"

Thank you Lord for touching me at OIL once again this year.

(NYC, NY)

believe God has convicted me in many different areas during OIL. Before going into OIL I felt I was a 'good' Christian. I was slowly becoming too proud for my own good. I read the Bible, I served at my home church, I didn't drink,smoke,etc. However, I felt I lacked that intimacy with God. I knew I was saved but nothing more than that. I could easily disregard my time with God for other means.

I believe God really revealed to me my sinful desires. My identity was not found in Him but in the earthly confidence I have developed within me.

Matthew 28 also was very convicting. We are called to make disciples. I think so many of us take that as a suggestion, but God makes it a commandment. I have decided to invest my time to others and make disciples. At the same time I believe that I should excel as a student and be more like Daniel. In a worldly environment being able to be the best at what I do for God's glory. That I can really shine Him when it comes to down to work.

I just want to glorify Christ not just in church not just in small groups or my fellowships, but in everything I do. And as a student, my studies are the direct focus of that.

(Boston University)

I did not want to go to OIL. I knew I would end up going but the desires were not on the same page as my mind and it was painful to sign up. As expected, I ended up loving the time spent at the conference and I'm so glad I didn't act according to my rebellious feelings. I really think I went to OIL to meet my small group. Seeing how real God is working in 11 other lives helped me step out of my self centeredness and gain a bigger picture of what God's doing in this generation. Through the accumulation of the sermons, seminars, praise times, and short (but very meaningful) prayer times, I realize I need to correct much of my stupid thinking as Pastor Min put it. :) Much of it is based on the lie that I am an inconvenience to God. But being confronted with the truth blew that away. He treasures each of his kids as his own Son. He cares about our work. He WANTS to talk with us, share his heart with us, and use us. There wasn't many 'new' things I've picked up, but I was reminded of the true things. Singing 'Adonai' was my commitment song for 2009: "..though the world will fade away, still my song to you remains, only you will I adore." I KNOW I won't keep my end of the deal with God, but He's the one pulling the carpet.

(University of Illinois)

I was a little bit anxious during the "commitment" time at the last Bible Exposition. I wasn't sure if I should go up and "re-commit" myself. I kept doubting if I had really made solid commitments to God in the past about living for Him and wondered if this was another chance to evaluate how surrendered I was to Him. Throughout the conference, the biggest message I was getting was, "Will you give it ALL for me?" I had just come back from a trying time with my family who was not happy with where my life was going: no marriage prospects (as I get older), a low-paying job (by choice), and a ministry calling that didn't seem to be very concrete to them. I was really struggling with thoughts of just quitting and finding a better-paying job, moving to a bigger town, "getting on" with my life. However, I sensed God assuring me to take it one step at a time and continue to trust in Him. I realized what my real need was: I need Christ everyday. Pastor Min said something during worship time that really helped: we are already "accepted" in God's family through Christ. So, we don't have to worry about being perfect before coming before God. He wants us to come just as we are. This made me want to go to God so much more and it's really sustained me one week later. Going back to my job, I felt God convicting me to seek for a better attitude (in trust) and really serve and give. I also have a renewed desire to spend time with Him daily, knowing that my strength will only come from Him. I am a teacher, so I need to have a "good" spiritual life, I need more knowledge in how and what to teach, and I really need to love my students. I realized this in itself is hard but God is teaching me to rely on Him to get through, not on my own abilities. So, I am not sure if I'm at the "give it ALL up to God" stage but I know that I hunger after Him and want to live IN Him daily.

(Champaign, IL)

The height of my struggles and suffering occurred when I was a freshman/sophomore in college. I had no idea what I wanted to do in life, what career to pursue, what major to pick. I would pray to God, begging Him to give me a sign, to tell me blatantly what exactly He wanted me to do, but I heard nothing from Him. I grew frustrated with God. It wasn't as if though I had my own dreams and desires that went against God's plan for me; I had nothing to argue against Him with. I would have done whatever He asked of me if only He would have told me, but He answered my prayers in silence. When I attended OIL as a freshman in 2009, guest speaker George Verwer spoke of how receiving specific callings from God is a very rare thing in today's society. He told us that we should be asking the Holy Spirit to guide us in our every day lives, that we would keep our hearts and minds open to follow God in our daily routines and have faith that He will lead us day by day to where He wants us to be. I was blessed by this, and from that day on I did exactly that. Five years later, I find myself not as a rich entry-level worker, but as an extremely wealthy individual, rich with the blessings from God. I told my testimony to the College students in my area, how God has been with me for as long as I can remember, how He has given me more than enough in my life. When Dr Murray put up the power point slide with his True/False statement, "It is good to include God in our plans," I knew that in the manner the statement was presented, it was false. But I couldn't understand why. When he made the subtle change on the phrase to "It is good to be included in God's plan," I made a terrible realization: somewhere in the past five years of my life, I had strayed away from my original commitment to live my life daily for Him and began to simply include God in MY plans. I had taken His many blessings and twisted them, making them my own. Dr Murray continued to show the error of our ways, presenting a slide which showed a contract of "My Life," consisting of all sorts of normal things that we would want as humans, such as a spouse, a secure career, a house, a church to serve in, etc. He told us how we selfishly present our hopes and dreams to God and simply ask Him to approve with His signature at the bottom. Dr Murray challenged us, depicting a scenario where God presents to us a contract of His own instead. This contract has "My Life" on the top, a blank page, and a line at the bottom for our signature. I initial reaction was of shock and skepticism. Does God really expect me to sign my life away without knowing what the future holds for me? Then I realized it: I had already committed my life to His hands before, but throughout the years I became so comfortable and secure from my situation that I forgot how to entrust my life to Him. Dr Murray assured us with this verse: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." This verse truly spoke out to me, as I recalled all the testimonies I shared with the students I met, how God has been unchanging, faithful to me wherever I am. Knowing personally that Jesus fulfills His promise of staying with us, I recommitted my life into the hands of God. I was extremely blessed to have had my eyes reopened. Many speakers warned us to be ready for failures, that as humans we WILL fail in the future. I speak to everyone as someone who has failed in the past: God keeps no record of failures. What's important is that we rely on God's strength in our weaknesses, and trust that He will be faithful to complete the work that He began in us.

(Albany, NY)

I've always heard about OIL as long as I could remember but I never had a chance to attend and until now and I'm so glad that I was able to. A personal issue I was wrestling with before God was my unwillingness to serve God wholeheartedly. I was at a crossroads in my spiritual life, and basically, I had to choose a path that would lead me to God, or lead me to my own selfish desires and my own comforts. I loved to drink and party in the clubs and for me, that was life. I started this lifestyle in college and carried on with it till recently. In my mind, the perfect life can be summed up as a rap music video (picture girls dancing, booze everywhere, VIP rooms, loud music, hundred dollar bills, etc.) However, I still wanted to be called God's son so I went to church and served here and there. Basically, I was serving in both worlds and it was tearing me inside.

In a lot of ways, I felt like Cain, offering vain worship to God, which God obviously saw through and despised. I was struggling like this for nearly 6 months and I was wondering what was happening to me. I couldn't stand it, yet I couldn't do anything about it.

So just before OIL, I was fired from my first job and for awhile it devastated me. I felt my worth as a person deteriorate in a manner of seconds when my ex-boss broke the news to me. It was such a hard pill to swallow. I felt so incapable, incompetent, scared, insecure about my future and I felt so burdened. But somehow, in the midst of it all, I knew that God still had my back and there was hope that He was going to take care of me.

During the first night at OIL, I was still trying to hold onto my own life and refused to allow God to enter my life fully. I wanted to change so badly, but something always kept me from becoming humble and submissive to God's ultimate plan for my life. So I simply asked God to change my way of thinking and desires, because I knew that if I was left to my own ways, that I would never ever change. This whole time, I kept trying to convince myself that I need to change, that I need to turn my life around, that I need to worship God wholeheartedly, but I realized that there was something flawed with that prayer- it was still all about me. It was all about how I need to change, not about how only God can change my hard heart. Once I prayed that, I felt the floodgates of grace and blessings open up allowing the blessings to pour out onto my heart, thus drowning out my selfish ways.

I could go on and on about how God truly blessed me throughout this retreat. Every aspect of the retreat blessed me in so many ways- awesome praise, prayer times, sermons, seminars, the new relationships I built with my sg members, the testimonies I heard through my sg members, quiet times with sg, prayer times with my old college fellowship, and much much more. Of course, all of this wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for God's grace. However, one thing that sticks out in my mind was the idea of costly worship that Dr. George Murray so wonderfully portrayed in one of his sermons. That we should never offer worship that doesn't cost us anything- that Jesus is worth it all, even our own lives and that true worship is costly worship. I let that idea marinate in my mind throughout the sermon and it truly struck a chord in my heart and I repented of my ways. However, it wasn't until at the end of the sermon during prayer time that God made known to me something that blew my mind away- that for God (the Father), it costed Him His only begotten son, His precious Son, to die for the sins of man- to die for my sins! I didn't do anything to deserve this, but yet, He still gave it all for me. And for Christ, to obey the Father's will, to completely obey His perfect will knowing full well what was going to happen to Him when He surrenders Himself to the Roman authorities to be questioned, undermined, beaten up, tortured, stripped down, bloodied up, whipped constantly, and then after all that, to carry the heavy cross all the way up to the place of His death while being jeered and mocked by the crowds which were the very people He came down to save! AND, even after all that, He still didn't die yet. He would then die an excruciatingly painful death on the cross which at that time, was the most inhumane and most painfully way to die. And the most painful thing about this was aside from the physical pain and torture He faced up until the death, the most devastating thing that thankfully, we never have to face is total separation from God- eternal damnation. I was awed even more the next day when Dr. Murray mentioned the 3 types of death- physical, spiritual, and eternal deaths and how Jesus fully and completely conquered those 3 deaths, leaving nothing behind. He died the perfect death and let it all hang out for us. He didn't hold anything back from us, He didn't die half-heartedly- like He wasn't up on that cross and decided that it was too hard and called on God to help Him out- if He did, we would have been screwed for sure! I guess all it takes is simple, Gospel truth to bring me back to God again.

Now I'm back at home without a job, but it's all good. I know He's going to take care of me and come through for me when I am ready. All I have to do is cling onto the truth and hope of His Kingdom.

All in all, I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to come to OIL! What a blessing from heaven.

(New Jersey)

I really learned a lot at OIL. The messages addressed struggles that I'd gone through very recently, so I really felt like OIL was relevant to my life. I think that I have been challenged to really live a life of worship, to be purposeful in everything that I do. I feel like OIL helped ready me for this coming semester.

(UPenn)

Winter OIL 2009 was not just a retreat for me. It was a life changing experience. As a leader in a fellowship, I struggled so much about the theology part in the bible for years and years but everything started to make sense after the main sessions and the seminars. I am so glad that I went to the retreat because God has truly convicted my heart. Now that I am so blessed, I want to truly go out and share it with everyone.

(Binghamton, NY)

God has blessed me tremendously at this past year's OIL. At first I wasn't even sure if I was going to attend because there was a internship fair during the same time. However, God showed me clearly that there was something greater for me at OIL and so I decided to attend...

... (a) realization I came to was ministering to my family. I was always hurt coming back from college this past year, knowing that my family was lost. I guess it hurt even more because they were strong Christians at one point in their lives but over the years had gone lost. I was concerned that I would never see them in heaven, and had the hardest of times praying for them. However, God answered those concerns when the question was answered in the Q & A session. I remember I think Dr. Jon Choi mentioning how salvation is never lost, how once we are saved, we will always be saved but just people fall away from God. That gave me hope as well as attending the Bringing the Gospel Home seminar. Yes, I still struggle with preaching the gospel at home but I know that I have some tools to equip me to start to love and pray for my family.

...I was able to see was just how much more there is to learn about Christianity. I used to think it was just a simple concept, but God has opened up my eyes to see that there is just so much more to comprehend about Christianity. I've just recently found a fascination in Christian literature and am excited to actually read and learn more about Christ through the books I was able to buy. I also realized that I need to work on realizing truly who Christ is and what He's done for us. I feel as though that if I get this concept right, then many of my worries and anxieties would be lifted. I feel so honored and thankful to be called His and I cannot wait to spread the gospel to those who are lost and/or do not believe. OIL has been a great blessing this year.

(University of Rochester)

It was a refreshing time of hearing the Gospel and seeing how it needs to be applied in our daily lives. I was personally challenged to recommit my entire life to Christ as my Lord, even if it means a life of suffering.

(University of Maryland, College Park)

I really felt God's presence throughout the retreat and I could really feel His presence in every single person that I came into contact with at the retreat. I was also able to make some great friends in my small group that I know I can go to with prayer requests or anything in the future. I really felt changed through OIL, even more so then any other retreat I've been to. If you're reading this and you're skeptical about how much God will impact your life at OIL, just go and you will come back with new insights and a much greater understanding about God, the Bible, your faith, prayer, and everything else! OIL will not be a forgotten experiance! PRAISE GOD!

(University of Maryland Baltimore County)

My experience at OIL could not have come at a more perfect time. I'd fallen away from church for quite some years, I was orginally raised in a very Christian family but I let myself fall away from church under the influence of another and for the longest time I struggled with wanting to go back but I felt as if I was so far away from God that he wouldn't be able to take me back, even though people told me otherwise. I knew logically God loved me but I guess I just didn't believe it.

Even though I was away from church, I believed i was still a Christian because I tried to maintain my relationship with him on my own and still prayed and I felt I had to read the Bible, although I admit, I read it just to read, and never really meditated on the words I just went through with the motions.

I met someone who for the first time in a while talked to me about God and encouraged me to go back to him, starting with going to church and I was hopeful that I would be able to. This person was going through some personal faith issues of their own and to be hurtful, or maybe without even thinking about it, called me an atheist because I didn't go to church. I was deeply hurt and opposed their opinion because the same person who was encouraging me in a postive way just discouraged me by accusing me of not being a Christian.

I really struggled with this and went to church like I had originally planned on doing but now it was tainted because I was doubting myself, my motives, my faith, my religion. It was especially hard because the pastor's message was about how Christianity was a black or white matter, you either followed God or you didn't and I couldn't handle the message and I attended church very sparingly.

The next year I attended again with more resolved feelings in my heart, I had been working on my relationship with God outside of churech and now I was more ready to hear the message but I still was't completely living my life for God. Around this time, I was finally ready to go with my friend to KCF at my school with a friend who asked me to go with her. She has asked me the previous year but I wasn't ready to so I said no and she didn't go either. This year it ws me who asked her if I go, and she was going to go regardless of whether or not I went with her, so it was a blessing also that she was in the right place to go too.

It was a very welcoming experience at KCF albeit a bit awkward at times. We were very encouraged to and also perhaps a bit forced/pressured to join a small group and although it started late, and I had trouble sharing my thoughts/opinions completely since I didn't feel 'worthy' enough or knowledgeable about Christianity, but slowly slowly I started changing (it's still an on-going process), and I came to really just enjoy the change, closenss, knowledge gained through fellowship and sharing. Through bible study, I also learned to read the Bible with the intent of trying to see and understand God's will and words and this really changed my perspective on reading God's words and also in prayer, I learned to really be honest with God.

My small group leader suggested I pray to God because I have experienced sleep paralysis daily for quite some time in my life. I used to pray that I would not get it but it never worked so I gave up on it. At her gentle reminder, that night I decided to pray to God instead about all the things that had been hindering my heart that day and that night I didn't get it. Praying and reading the bible truly helped me to not get sleep paralysis, but it didn't completely get rid of it as i'll get to later on. Praise God, it was no longer every night!

That same friend also recommended me to the LOL conference because she said it truly was life-changing, was good for people who were spiritually depressed, and because it was hosted by old church, where coincidently we had also attended together for two years. She said she would go back as a counselor if I went so I warmed up to the idea and decided I would go, so she could go back to complete her experience at LOL and it was a good way to transition back into my old church. However, it turned out the conference wasn't being offered this winter break when I was finally ready to go to a church retreat and i was greatly confused because I thought God would want me to go to this specific one. Someone highly recommended OIL to me because he had gone before and encouraged me without me saying anything, that I shouldn't feel as if i needed to know too much about the bible or anything like that. I told him I wasn't sure if I was ready (since the conference sounded more educational and catered to people who were already very strong Christians) and he reminded me that none of us were ever truly ready. I looked at the seminars list for quite some time and had decided I was going to go and signed up for it on the last day. It was because I knew I could no longer keep running from God and if I let this oppurtunity pass and if I didn't go, I'd lose all the progress I'd made the past semester in getting to know God. This past semester I've been the happiest I've ever been at school (I'm a junior) and it was all because I was learning to learn and accept God's love and the way he works in people's live. I had someone to to live for and be accountable to, I rediscovered a purpose.

Finals week I felt myself slipping which is when I experienced sleep paralysis again so all of these convitions were leading me to know that I was in a danger zone of falling back into sin. I was afraid however that I wouldn't be able to meet with God at OIL since it's something you expect to happen, and I'm one who usually hates a movie after it's been hyped, stuff like that. The sermons, the people, the knowledge, the praise, the worship, even all the literature laid out for everyone, it wa sjust amazing. I learned so much about the bible, the real tangible importance of reading it and the absolute necessity of praying, especially that you have to carve time out of your life to pray, it was just amazingly eye opening and necessary to drive home that my worship had to be costly, sacrificial and I had responsibilities to fullfill for God alone.

I felt like we didn't have much time to pray even though prayer seemed to be streseed a lot so I was extremely grateful for the Prayer Meeting and looked foward to it a lot because I felt it was necesary to truly meet with God, and what shocked me was, I did. I was praying on the right side and i didn't realize when I sat there that it was the section that the pastors were supposed to pray for people. I noticed someone praying for someone in front of me and i deeply desired for someone to pray for me but of course i couldn't outwardly asked so I remained with my head bowed and i was surprised when he came over to pray for me (Pastor Ro) He approached me speaking in tongues and i was already crying a little but then i started crying harder, and I just felt something well up inside my heart and I truly believe I experienced the Holy Spirit. Admist speaking in tongues, Pastor Ro said words of encouragment I know was from God because he was telling me exactly what my heart needed to hear.

At one point, that feeling in my heart just stopped abruptly, almost as if, I'd had heard enough; God had spoken his part, and although outwardly I didn't betray this shift physically, that is when Pastor Ro went away. I truly believe God was speaking to me through Pastor Ro. That night I was on a spiritual high, I worshipped uninhibited, my hands lifted to the heavens. However I experienced sleep paralysis for the first time since finals week. And it was a weird one this time, I saw a black cloud snaking it's way up in front of my face towards my eyes. Even the first night I came back a larger, but less dense black cloud was welling up in my right arm and torso and kind of like spazzing out, I can't tell if it was coming in, or leaving. But I see now that the devil is feeling threatened and scared and is going crazy trying to scare me away from God. Another time it actually welled up within me and purposely evoked sexual feelings in me (trust me, this can never really happen in sleep paralysis) and I just revolted. I need your help also in prayer because the devil is working overtime to try and sway me.

Aside from that, because I was able to finally experience the Holy Spirit, and all I've been learning about God's love for me and my responsbility to respond to him being the Soverign Lord, I was finally able to officially sign my life over to God and I truly was able to connect with my accountability partner, whom I had met on the first day of OIL but who i was able to really share with during the prayer meeting.

I regret deeply however that i wasn't able to be open with my small group, I let myself close off and wasn't comfortable with sharing anything personal to such a large group of strangers and for that I truly apoligize. I once again felt I didn't have much to share since everyone seemed very 'knowledgeable' but of course that isn't enough now to share what you do know, and have learned from and about God in order to benefit and inform/educate/help others. Since OIL I have been trying to constantly be aware of my actions, interactions, my intentions and reading a lot of literature, reading the bible and praying whenever I feel myself straying.

I know signing my life over to God will theoretically be more difficult because now I have to step up and take responsiblity but I also know that this extra 'work' is all so worth it for the approval and appreciation of my Father God. I am going to try out a new church with my sister next week so we can find the right fit. She has been away from church even longer than I, and I feel as if the OIL experience was necessary for me also to help bring her meet God.

Thank you for letting me share my OIL experience and I just appreciate everyone at OIL who toiled so hard and gave so much of themselves so willingly and completely to provide a truly productive, informative, comofortable, welcoming, and above all truly blessed experience at OIL> I have much love for you all because God loved me first, and let me experience and accept the love you guys poured out to me because God loved YOU first. God Bless <3

i planned to dedicate my whole winter break to GOD, but i didn't do it at all and i really needed something to motivate me and get me started, i signed up for oil before the break, and i got what i asked for, also meet some people i can pray for and they can pray for me

(Nyack College)

When I found out I was going to lead a small group, I was honestly a little annoyed, seeing how I was on "vacation". It had been a rough past couple of months and my heart was so hard and so I saw serving as just another chore that had to be done. Thankfully, God was ready to rock my world. After the opening message and first evening message, God really changed the way I saw serving. So often in the past couple months, I kept seeing the tasks that needed to be done while serving instead of seeing the work God was doing. Pastor Young's message on joy really hit home, as I was constantly wondering where my joy in serving God had gone. Paul's command was to rejoice in the Lord always, not some of the time, not when things are going well or when I'm getting what I want, but always. After that, I met my small group with a supernatural joy that I can honestly say came from God. Every single day was such a huge blessing; I treasured every moment I spent with my small group, and had trouble sleeping at night simply thinking about what was in store for us the next day. At last year's OIL, I remember being so drained every single day and felt like I was about to collapse at the end. This year, I felt like I could run a marathon every day with energy to spare. It was such a wonderful feeling. In fact, serving a small group made this retreat sooooooo much better for me and I feel like I learned even more than I would have had I not been able to serve one. I cannot emphasize how privileged I feel to have been able to be a part in lives of not just one of God's children, but six! How cool is that? Plus, every single seminar session addressed a specific issue in my life that I needed to hear, and every plenary session gave me deeper insight into God.

When I first drove into Montrose, I felt beaten down and wondering when the end of my desert time was going to be. Upon leaving, I felt refreshed, revitalized, and completely pumped up. Praise God for all He did not only in my life but in the lives of my small group members. I'd like to keep talking about how awesome this retreat was for me, and how much I needed it, but I'm about to go off on ten different tangents! God is sooo good though, and I'm even thankful for the dryness in my spiritual life because it's making me savor these times so much more. A shout out to the OIL staff, thugs, drivers, and everyone else working behind the scenes! WOW! SO AWESOME! Praise God!

(Champaign, IL)

I am a worship team leader and youth group event coordinator of my home church. I had spent so much time on doing STUFF at church. And as the time pass by, I unconsciously letting the STUFF that I do dominate my Christian life, rather than putting God as the purpose of serving. During OIL, especially in the seminar of the Young Adult Life, I realized that I had been identifying myself as Christian because of what I do at church, rather than God Himself. And the more I meditate on it, I realize that my heart for serving was not right because it should always be about God. After OIL, I've been praying for God to help me to change my heart and put the right motives back, as well as constantly keeping myself in check.

(University of Maryland College Park)

Serving as a THUG at OIL was one of the most fun and blessing experiences of any retreat I have been to. Worshiping God through the little ways that we serve really made the sermons and the praise time that much sweeter. Struggling against my heart to really try to pray through all the tasks i was given and to pray for all the people coming to attend OIL, made me realize how often I don't give glory to God in my normal life. I felt convicted to dedicate all parts of my life, school, job, family time, to worshiping and serving Him. Though thugging was tiring there is no other thing i would rather be tired doing than serving my Lord. How great is our God that He would allow us to participate in His work, and see the blessings He is continually pouring out on us!

(Champaign, IL)

I believe God works in mysterious ways, and you don't know how mysterious it is until you start looking back. If God didn't forcefully enter in my life, I would not have gone to the OIL retreat. I've always thought of going, but one thing held me back. Work. So one month before OIL, God laid me off from my job and put my back in His Hands. With nothing to do, and my life in disarray long before I got laid off, God pushed me to OIL.

And I can see more clear than ever. Yes, I don't have a job right now, but perhaps that's not what God wanted me to do in the first place. As I sit here, I finally know that God is in the driver's seat, not me. He will take me where I need to be, and be strong always.

(Washington DC)

Before attending OIL, my life with God was not really stable. I didn't go to church throughout my first semester as a freshman and I fell far, far away from God. I attended a fellowship, but barely could make it since I was busy with other things in college. I also had a recent bad breakup with a boyfriend; so that hurt my heart and I continued to brush it off my shoulders like nothing really happened.

My friends from my home church then decided to go to OIL and this was possibly one of the greatest experiences and decisions that I ever made. OIL truly inspired me and brought me not all the way back onto my track with God, but close enough that I feel blessed to be in His presence. My relationship with my ex-boyfriend is still rocky, but after all the sermons and hearing God's word, I learned that I just need to let go, wait, and He will catch me. Not only that, but it is costly worship to be able to give him true worship, and this is a huge sacrifice I am giving over to God since I held onto him (my ex-boyfriend) so tightly. I really thank God for allowing me to come on this retreat because without it, I would probably still be focused on my life alone and not IN CHRIST ALONE.

(Boston University)

Well, I'm sitting at work right now listening to Jesus Messiah and reflecting on the blessings of OIL. I'm part of the worship team and it was such an amazing blessing to serve at OIL 2009. I have definitely been changed through this OIL and have reconfirmed many convictions of my life through this retreat. There was a moment during worship when we were singing "All our hope is in You" during Jesus, Messiah. I looked out into the congregation and saw a generation that was lifting our hearts as one voice. I could not help but break down crying because it's so discouraging nowadays to see what is happening to this world and to our generation. But there is HOPE! Our hope is Jesus! He is our Messiah! He is our King! He is the One the is in control! And He will conquer this world and take us home someday! In the meantime, let's fight together for the kingdom! Thank you so much my brothers and sisters!

(Champaign, IL)

OIL was a big "slap in the face" for me. I was going through some difficult times in my walk with the Lord. I know for a fact these 4 days will not merely be emotional feelings that will soon fade away. OIL was definitely different from all my other youth retreats. God has truly spoken to me and touched my heart deeply. Praise God for His faithfulness!!

(University of North Texas)

I was so blessed not only by the amazing worship, speakers, and fellowship (which were all incredible), but also by how all of the volunteers and coordinators of OIL lived out their faith. I know that many involved in volunteering do not get paid or even pay for their registration fees, and they spend hours setting up, shuttling people in vans, staying in not the best accommodations so that others can have more convenient lodging, and staying up all night to work on graphics, video, or recordings to make OIL polished and professional. Jesus called us to serve and to do everything as if working unto the Lord, and it was so refreshing at this conference to see EVERYONE serve gratefully, willingly, and in humility. Thanks for living it out!!!!

(Syracuse University)

First time being at OIL was even more of a blessing because I didn't know what to expect, but I came back with so much. Before OIL, I was considering stepping down from my leadership positions within the church. The messages and seminars really convicted me to continue to serve in my church as a small group leader and also on the praise band.

I felt so much guilt towards my small group members especially because I felt like I was no help in their spiritual growth, that I might even be hindering them from coming to know God more, because I didn't know what I was doing. I really pray and hope that my small group members and the entire congregation would forgive me for lacking motivation, for being so selfish and inconsiderate, for being so foolish and ignorant.

I was reminded that I'm so broken, so unworthy, and that I have so much more growing to do. I learned to humiliate myself and acknowledge God because He is so worthy of all our praise. Instead of me trying to do things on my own will, I just need to let go and wait to be caught.

(Purdue University, IN)

This year's OIL helped me realized a number of things:
1. My arrogance. I had grown dependent on my own logic and methods of dealing with spiritual crisis in my life instead of rooting myself in Scripture and Prayer. I merely consulted God instead of clinging to Him.
2. Falling to Worldliness. I realized again how much I was struggling with desiring to be popular or accepted by others. I didn't want to be that good naive Christian kid anymore, but I realized that God calls us to holiness and that the offers of the world are passing. I was charged to be holy as He is Holy once again.
3. The need for integrity. I was convicted by the extreme uncompromising amount of devotion Daniel and his buddies showed in face of death. The leadership seminar also reminded me that God infinitely cares more about who I am than what I can do.

(Wheaton College, IL)

I think without knowing it, I can very easily make God small in my life. I limit his power and when God spoke to me so clearly and directly through OIL conference, I was amazed and simply dumb-founded. However, I question whether that amazement is out of awe and reverence for an almighty, omniscient, omnipresent God or out of stupidly confining God's limitless capabilities. Despite how much I've grown over my short life-time, I realized that there are still parts of me that doubt, not inquire of the Lord, but doubt what He can do. And after God revealing to me more than enough evidence of His existence, His power, and His love...I learned to be still and quiet and just acknowledge that He is God. Because in knowing who He is and what He's done for us...the only natural response would be to love Him back...and that is done by following His Great Commission.

I'm reluctant to say that OIL was life-changing (though, I feel that it was), but it was undoubtedly perspective-changing and I can only praise our faithful Father for transforming me...well, I pray that this is a true transformation and not a mere outer change.

(New York University)

For the last few years, I have prayed to God, "Please use me." After reflecting at OIL, I realize that God has placed me in many areas to worship him: work, college ministry, church, sunday school, and family. Yet I have not been using these areas to worship him. In the monotony of routine, I had lost sight of the fact that each moment is given in these areas to glorify God. If each moment were used to glorify and worship God- there would be no such thing as the "montony of routine". In looking forward to the future and the exciting possibilities that exist out there in ministries and professional life, I don't want to neglect what God wants me to do right now. God has really been speaking on my heart to be a person that savors his grace and mercy every moment that I am alive. Thanks for all the hard work you guys have put into this conference; it was both encouraging and refreshing, even if I was physically tired.

(New Jersey)

I am so thankful I went to Oil. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to go but in the end felt the Lord leading me to. and he blessed me so much. It was a great time to get away from the busyness of life and just have a few days to totally focus on God. I even enjoyed the rigorous schedule. I think its good to learn to give up a little comfort and sleep for God. Because of going to OIL I've really been convicted to deepen my prayer life and think about missions for my future. I just want to open to God for whatever he wants to do in my life. I praise God I went!

(Champaign, IL)

This is my second year of OIL and serving as a THUG (To Help U Guys, The Helper Under God, To Honor Under God, etc). Before coming to OIL, I had so many unanswered questions about my life. As am I about to graduate next semester; I wondered what job I want to pursue, where will I live, marriage questions, and family questions etc. I was hoping all my complicated questions were going to be answered at OIL. Through my experience at OIL, there was a simple answer to all my questions. The answer was to love God and continually to grow closer to Him. By asking those questions before, I was primarily focused on my well being and my plans. I realized the small details of job A or job B doesn't matter as long as it glorifies God and my heart/attitude to serve Him. I learned what it means to be a part of His plan and not my plan.

Finally, serving as a THUG helped me to realize that doing the small things (salting sidewalks, cleaning, etc) make huge impacts in the macro scale of God's grace and seeing how that can make big differences in peoples lives to help them to worship God a little better through the retreat. There was supernatural presences with us because even though we were getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night, we were joyful to wake up and to glorify Jesus and serving others. It was great character building experience as we preserved through the physical pain and by encouraging each other.It was another way of being blessed at OIL.

(Champaign, IL)

Recently, God has answered so many of my prayers with a "yes". One of which happened to be attending OIL. OIL wasn't a spiritual high for me and I'm grateful that it wasn't. I've been praying for consistency in my walk with God. Yes, I did learn new things, but OIL mainly served as a reinforcement for things I've been hearing my whole life. Still, these are things I've forgotten. For example, the importance of a Christ-centered heart and the necessities of praying and reading the Word. My brothers and sisters who I grew surprisingly close to over a course of 4 days were an encouragement to me. SG time was such a humbling experience. I was reminded of how judgmental and self-sufficient I had been prior to this winter break.

Overall, OIL reminded me of how much I had to be thankful for. More than being broken by how much of a sinner I was an am, I was grateful. There have been times when I had wished that I had this life-changing story to tell...about when I had met Christ for the first time. But looking back, I realized how blessed I was to have been raised in a Christian family. I was thankful that I was saved early on, that I had such accountable and loving brothers and sisters in my campus ministry, that I was able to love my family at OIL, and so much more. Thank you staff members, speakers, and attendees of OIL. If I am able to go again, I would like to. God has great things planned for us all!!!

(Carnegie Mellon University)

God really opened my heart again through OIL. He showed me His heart and love for His people. I'm very thankful for the Gospel and the truth. Everyday, I'm reminding myself that I vowed to go anywhere and anytime for the Gospel. It's very blessing to see all my brothers and sisters in Christ worship together, and that's just a small glimpse of heaven. I'm excited for what is to come, and even through sufferings and trials I know God is faithful, always.

(Champaign, IL)

It was amazing how the last day, Dr. Choi's sermon was switched to before bible exposition, because I had to leave early the last day. What Dr. Choi spoke about tied all my learnings at OIL together, and made me feel very blessed. When he spoke about trials in our lives and how we are all apart of each other's lives for certain reasons, it made me realize a lot about my family and struggles we've been going through with my brother.

When I realized that my brother is placed in my life for a reason, I remembered the story of Luke 15, the Prodigal's Son. It is about a son who wasted away his inheritance with gambling and sins, and he ended up living out on the streets. He decided to go home to his father to work as a farm hand and earn his living at home, but when he came home, his father did not care what his son did, but instead embraced his son lovingly. Maybe the story of the son losing his inheritance isn't exactly the story of my brother, but it seemed very close. I realized that parent's don't count how many times their children fall, but rather try to always pick them up again.

This was a big lesson that I also tied in with Dr. Zimmerman's speech of letting go, and how we should let go of relationships that hold us down or let go of anger and resentment we have for people. With all this knowledge I prayed for God to make a difference in my brother's life, and to plant in his heart the willingness to change. When I came home from OIL, my brother was a changed person. I don't know why or how, but he changed so drastically from the three days I saw him earlier, and my family is family once again. I am so thankful of all the lessons I learned, of God, and for everyone who prayed for me. One in love.

(Champaign, IL)